A Break Up Letter

Or maybe we’re on a break…

Dear Glee,

I loved you last year. Really, I did. But recently, I’ve been feeling an “It’s not me, it’s you” vibe towards you. I wish, really I wish with everything, that I could say it’s not you, it’s me; but the thing is, I can’t. Maybe I’m in a funk because of the end of LOST, my longest tv relationship. Six years are a lot of a commitment. And for such a show. I thought so much with it, to go from a notebook full of LOST theories to not needing to take notes might be hitting me harder than I thought. But I swear I’m hearing the shark swimming up to your show’s dock… and I think you might be prepping to jump the shark.

It all started on the season premier. Rachel sending a girl to a CRACK HOUSE just because she doesn’t want her to eclipse her own star? Really? Is anyone that mental? I never saw Rachel going that crazy. And I didn’t have an immediate desire to download any of the music after finishing the episode. But I wasn’t going to give up, the next episode was the Britney Spears episode. There had been so much buzz, I hoped against hope that you would be great with this episode. Bring back the Glee I know and love. Not the nasty Sue cookies from last episode. But I couldn’t even make it through the whole episode. The anesthesia induced hallucinations? Really? I don’t remember having any dreams like that when they put me under to take out my wisdom teeth a few years ago. And really? Brittany doesn’t ever brush her teeth, she just gargles soda? Come on… no one is seriously that stupid. Right? Even John Stamos and Puck couldn’t save this episode for me. How do Brittany’s teeth still look so good if she never brushes? Wouldn’t we be able to see the rotting teeth? I understand teeth whitening, but this is crazy… And then the next episode. Really, you’re going to make us think you’re going to make Kurt an orphan? And seriously? A grilled CHEESUS? WTF Glee?! Finn is praying to his Grilled Cheesus. But the final nail came into the coffin last week. You. Took. Puck. To. Juvie. W. T. F.? I put up with all the crap you were putting me through because Puck was still on, and gorgeous, and singing.

I’ll give you a little credit, you gave Mike a song. But half of that credit gets snatched away when you look at the fact that you TOOK MATT OFF THE SHOW!!! What, his storyline isn’t important enough for you? And then you try to sell this Justin Butthead I mean Barbie I mean whatever the hell his last name is lookalike as Puck’s REPLACEMENT? Oh HAILLL to the no, y’all. Puck is a gloriously beautiful bad boy. This kid looks like someone pinched his cheeks too much and they never recovered. And the Justin Whatever look is annoying. I can look at Puck… he’s my favorite age range from me, so I never feel creepy. This kid… blah.

I don’t know Glee, I could be messed up after LOST. But maybe we should just take a break. I’ll forgive you if you bring back Puck and the lovely and talented Kristen Chenoweth. I’ll even watch an April Rhodes episode without Puck. So I guess it’s I’ll resume regular watching when/if Puck comes back. Until then, I’m sorry Glee, but we need a break. And if Puck is gone, I’m sorry, but I just can’t see us going any further. Lame storylines and minimal eye candy don’t give me incentive to watch.

I hope we can work this out. Even if not, I’m sure you’ll be very happy in life, while I count down to the next True Blood season premier. That’s right, True Blood has been showing me that it might be my closest replacement for LOST. I’m sorry to break it to you this way, but that is a Show. But I’ll talk about that later.

Hoping you get better, and we can love again,