I’ve been looking through all of the Bloggers Do It Better posts tonight while making brownies (Annie’s Eats Chocolate Caramel Brownies, oh my god they are so good!) and something hit me. I’m about to go through a big change up. Two years ago I stopped going to school. Money was too tight and I needed to work and save. I got a job and worked on a certification course to not completely fall out of the habit of studying (I am now a fully certified wedding and event planner). And when I finished that I just kept on working for about another six months before re-applying to go back to my former university, Southern Adventist University. If you’ve never heard of this school, I’ll give you my (probably biased) opinion. Southern is a beautiful college down in Collegedale, Tennessee, which is a little bit outside of Chattanooga. The people are great, the campus is great, the living is great, the winters are short and spring comes by the end of Feb./beginning of March, and the food is mediocre (but hey, it’s better than some other educational institutions food I’ve had… I won’t name names). I dreamed of going to this school since I was ten years old, and after a few changes happened the college I attended my freshman year (back in 2007-2008), I decided to apply to Southern and see what happened.
Many things happened. I made new friends. I reconnected with old friends I hadn’t seen in years. I got a horrible kidney infection and was ten hours away from my Mommy, who I wanted with me more than ever when I was hugging the toilet bowl every few hours for days on end. I took a fantastic trip to New York. I checked my “date the absolutely wrong guy” box off my list forever (I hope). I worked the worst job of my life. I learned a lot. I made mistakes. But I really loved my year there and in the two years since have made visits back, and worked very hard to come back (although I could still use some money, anyone got any cash they don’t need? No? Okay then, I’ll just keep working hard.)
In the next two weeks I will be buying school supplies, packing up clothes and shoes, bedding and kitchen/food supplies, textbooks and more shoes. Two weeks from today I will be making the loooooong ten hour drive from Maryland to Tennessee with my parents, and moving back into a dorm. Three weeks from today I will be back in the world of homework, tests, quizzes, projects, speeches, papers, mid-terms and God help me, finals. I have not missed finals week.
There’s a part of me that’s excited. I can’t wait to get back down there, to see my friends and family down in Collegedale and be back to try again. I am determined to succeed this time. But there’s a part of me that’s terrified to fail. I’ve taken steps to do better than last time. I intend to get to know my adviser. I will happily use the learning success center and all the help that is offered to the students. I won’t let myself be ashamed to ask for help when I need it. I’m taking the Intro to Acting class down there. Acting brought me out of my shell in high school, and I’m hoping it’ll do it again in college. And I’ll be damned if I don’t put my phone on silent and in my bag! Um, watch my twitter feed on that last one. My classes are from 8-10:45 Tuesday and Thursday mornings. I’ll betcha I’m gonna tweet in that time. But I’m gonna try not to. But jeez it’s scary. I’ve had so many people stepping up to help me already, and I sort of feel like I can’t let them down. But I’ve gotten rid of some of the biggest distractions, and I have more determination to do it and do it right than I did the last time.
So the next time you see pictures, they’ll probably be in a different setting. I’m going to try to do my Bloggers Do It Better assignments outside on campus, it’s a gorgeous campus that needs to be shown. You’ll probably be able to tell when the threat of finals are looming over my head like an axe without me having to say so, because my tweets and posting will probably have a more punchy and stressed ring to them. But know that underneath, I’m happy. Really happy. Because I’m changing things up and finishing what I started. I can’t wait.
And this time I also have awesome rain boots. What? It rains a lot down there and last time I didn’t have rain boots. See. I learned my lesson.
Edit: Two days before I was supposed to leave to go to school, it all fell through. So I’m still in Maryland. I’m watching football, making food, and applying for area community colleges. It’s still gonna be good.